"Insecurity"
Time spent on drawing: 1 hr 30 min
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One of the biggest battles I face on the daily is with Insecurity. Am I a good enough mother? Wife? Artist? Human being?
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It’s a battle that I face every time I open my mouth. Every step I take. Every move I make...okay, taking it back before it continues to spiral into a Police song. Although, that would be appropriate, given the subject of today’s cartoon Musing.
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I do have a huge insecurity every time I post. Why bother? Someone else has probably done something similar already. What do I bring to the table? But I decided with these Musings, they are to help me get through a tough time in my life. Before I started these I didn’t feel like drawing anymore. Now if I miss a day I can’t wait to work double the next day to make up for it. And if the Musings help someone else in the process, it’s gold.
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Anyone else battle with insecurity? Raise your hand - drop it in the comments.
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Today, take 15 minutes to do something that you feel insecure about. Feel free to share it with me privately for support, or if it helps, post below to hold yourself accountable to do the thing you’re uncomfortable with so we can all support you.
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selfhelp
15 Minute Musings Launch
2019 was rough.
You ever have that feeling when you’re simultaneously drowning and panicking but are too tired to care? That was my 2019. Aside from the one miracle that I gave birth to a happy, healthy, beautiful daughter, the year was plagued with illnesses, stresses, strifes, and that one literal plague when a giant locust-like looking creature jumped on me at my son’s little league game.
I’m determined that 2020 is the year to turn my life around. 20 was my basketball jersey number throughout elementary and high school, and is a number that I personally consider lucky.
I’ve been listening to my friend Cathy Heller’s podcast Don’t Keep Your Day Job, which is a brilliant resource of inspiration for any creative mind. She held a 5-day 2020 Vision Challenge. She gave permission for everyone to be messy. As a perfectionist in my work, I never let my artwork be “messy”, and I’ve never thoroughly given myself the proper opportunity to succeed.
I have a ton of projects on my plate at the moment, so I was thinking of how to get started. I started to feel overwhelmed. It was midnight and I was hopping in the shower to (TMI) put warm water on a stye in my eye that got infected. While the warm water pounded on my swollen eyelid, I had some time to think about what I could do in my limited time to get my work done. I decided I needed to set some time aside every day to work on my projects. But with a full-time job that keeps me out of the apartment from 8:30-7pm daily and three kids including a newborn who keeps me up during the nighttime, time is already very limited.
I asked myself what sounded like a reasonable, non-overwhelming, completely do-able amount of time to set aside everyday to chip away at my mountain of projects. My gut, who always seems to steer me in the right direction, suggested 15 minutes. My mind and my heart both agreed.
I then thought to myself, hey, what if I actually drew a finished drawing in the 15 minutes to put on an Instagram account? By giving myself permission to be messy, I’m allowing myself the challenge of producing content and working on designs I’ve had in mind for years. I suddenly felt a rush of excitement over the potential to execute years of ideas in 15 minute musings. Then I got excited at the name 15 Minute Musings.
I then realized that there’s something magical to the number 15. From 15 minutes of fame to in just 15 minutes saving 15% or more on your car insurance, the number seems like a common number to accomplish a lot. While I pondered this, a commercial came on through the shower radio for How to Learn a Language in 15 Minutes per day for Babbel, providing further proof for both the importance of the number 15 and why I still listen to the radio.
I realized that all my challenges in life don’t seem so bad if I designate 15 minutes to a task. If I choose to do more, so be it, but at least I have an attainable goal to shoot for.
I got out of the shower (15 minutes later on the dot - the amount of time I was recommended to put a warm compress over my stye), and 1.5 hours later I had set up a domain, Instagram account, Facebook page, and Twitter account for @15MinuteMusings, as well as created my first drawing:
I started to feel alive and personally accomplished in a way I had not in a very, very long time.
So here I am. I’m going to be living my 2020, one set of 15 minutes at a time. Let’s see how far I can go.